I get emails quite often from people who are seeking advice on how to deal with their own tough times….For some odd reason I’ve been able to break through to people via my blog, and instagram. To be honest I’m flattered,  it really makes me happy that I can help inspire someone to be a better, stronger, and a positive person!  So I guess where I’m going with this post today is kinda of an overview of my experiences with inner strength, keeping a clear mind and happy heart.

Social media can be at times the devil, people do a great job at portraying something and someone they are not. I can’t judge people I don’t personally know but I can say there are PLENTY of people I do know who portray this “perfect sissy lala happy life”. Reason I start with this is because I try really hard to stay as real and true to who I am not only as a woman but a mother too. I’m sure some may say I make it look it easy, but if you know me, and you know my past and you even know my present its not unicorns and rainbows. It’s taken me YEARS to get to where I am. I am 28 years old, and in those 28 years, I’ve been at my happiest, and stablest just in the last 2 years. My childhood was fine, and as normal as my dad could have made it be given my parents got divorced when I was 10, my dad remarried when I was 14ish and I cant say I really was able to ever bond with a woman or mother figure. Hence made my teenage years be not the greatest, I was a pain in the ass, I was rude, I was disrespectful, I was acting out bc I didn’t have the tools of life just yet. I met Pella’s dad when I was 17, got pregnant at 25, was a single parent at 26, engaged and married at 27. At age 24 I started couples therapy with Pella’s dad, in a last effort to save a toxic broken relationship in which at that time I was slowly learning wouldn’t be able to be salvaged. When Pella’s dad and I were on an off status I stuck with therapy. Best decision I ever made. Little did I know within that same year I would end up pregnant. Through out my pregnancy I stuck with therapy, and sought out a few people I would reach out too when times were tough. It took the first year of Pella’s life to fully grasp the reality that I couldn’t do it anymore, therapy pushed me, certain individuals pushed and having my daughter pushed me. I learned soo many tools of life I wish I had learned sooner, but it what it is.
Which brings me to the tools I’ve learned on how to have inner strength, a clear mind and a happy heart.  I constantly apply these to my daily life, and I swear it keeps me on my rocker!

*  It truly is, “It is what it is”
*You Control YOUR OWN HAPPINESS
*You are NOT a victim
* Take responsibility for your own actions
* Pick and choose your battles
*Life is short
*Never “stuff or bottle” your emotions
*Communication is key
*Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to forget, do not have animosity”
*You CANT control people, or certain situations, the ONLY thing you can control is yourself.
*Do what is best for you & your kid/kids <–if that applies 🙂
* Take the high road, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS. ( probably one of the hardest things ever)
* When life seems hard, always know; It could always be worse, and there’s someone who has it much worse then you
* Surround yourself with positive environments and positive people
* Do NOT look in the rear view mirror
* Do NOT have expectations, for expectations lead to disappointment
* Breathe, take a break
* Time heals all wounds

I swear by therapy. If you’re struggling, seek a therapist or life coach.
If your depressed and feel hopeless, and helpless get on a good SSRI (aka anti depressant) they can really help.

Life for me just like everyone in the world, isn’t easy at times, there are PLENTY of days that my 3 year old makes ME cry! (backwards isn’t it?) There are days where I’m lonely and feel overwhelmed bc my husband works so damn much. There are days that I don’t put makeup on or do my hair. There are days I just struggle in general…. Its life, we have good days and we have bad. I make an effort to wake up everyday and thank a higher power for how fortunate I am. I have A LOT to be thankful for, and knowing that really keeps my heart happy when life hands me lemons. I wish more people were capable and open to seeing the world for the great place it really can be. I want to be able to live my life without regrets, and raise my daughters to be humble, hardworking, honest, happy women. It makes my heart happy to know that there are people who see these traits in me and come to me to help them. I can only hope to inspire them to be in a better place.

Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt.” — William Shakespeare


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